I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
