Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
