is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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