His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
