Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
