Christians are straight up FREAKS
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize