after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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