My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
