left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
