You can't motorboat a personality
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
