yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
