i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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