FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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