Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
