if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize