very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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