do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize