i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
