soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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