We won't sleep together?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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