Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
