do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
