This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
