No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
