Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The air was thick with penises
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
