I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
