I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
