Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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