Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
