Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
