I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
