while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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