you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
