Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
