Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
