She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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