I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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