it wasn't lemon gatorade
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
