They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
