Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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