Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize