And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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