oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
