Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize