You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
