I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
party gras won. party gras always wins.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
