u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
