Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
