My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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