yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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