our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
