Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
