everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
