He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
