She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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