i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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