So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
