The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
