I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
